Humans Vs Donkey's

Equation 1

 Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
 Donkey = eat + sleep

 Therefore:
 Human = Donkey + Work + enjoy

 Therefore:
 Human-enjoy = Donkey + Work

 In other words,
 A Human that doesn't know how to enjoy = Donkey that works.

 ++++++++++++
 Equation 2

 Man = eat + sleep + earn money
 Donkey = eat + sleep

 Therefore:
 Man = Donkey + earn money

 Therefore:
 Man-earn money = Donkey

 In other words,
 Man who doesn't earn money = Donkey

 ++++++++++++
 Equation 3

 Woman= eat + sleep + spend
 Donkey = eat + sleep

 Therefore:
 Woman = Donkey + spend
 Woman - spend = Donkey

 In other words,
 Woman who doesn't spend = Donkey

 ++++++++++++
 To Conclude:
 From Equation 2 and Equation 3

 Man who doesn't earn money = Woman who doesn't spend

 So Man earns money not to let woman become a donkey!
 And a woman spends not to let the man become a donkey!

 So, We have:
 Man + Woman = Donkey + earn money + Donkey + Spend money

 Therefore from postulates 1 and 2, we can conclude

 Man + Woman = 2 Donkeys that live happily together!

Kids Are Quick

I Got this e-mail from one of my friends..  :)

____________ _________ ______ _________

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.
____________ _________ _________ ______

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
____________ _________ _________ _________ ___

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D- I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it..

(I Love this kid)
____________ _________ _________ _________ _____

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
____________ _________ _________ ____

TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
____________ _________ _________ _________ ___

TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
____________ _________ _________ _________

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
____________ _________ _________ __
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it.
Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand..
____________ _________ _________ ________
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
____________ _________ _________

TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
____________ _________ _________ _____
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
____________ _________ _________ ____
PASS IT AROUND AND MAKE SOMEONE LAUGH!
LAUGHTER IS THE SOUL'S MEDICINE!!


Search Amazon.com for personal development for smart people

Some Jokes

1.A little girl asked her mother: How did the human race appear?
The mother answered: God made Adam and Eve and they had children and so was
all mankind made.

Two days later she asks her father the same question.

The father answered:Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race was developed.

The confused girl returns to her mother and says: Mom how is it possible that you told me that the human race was created by God and Papa says they were developed from monkeys.

The mother answers: Well dear, it is very simple. I told you about the origin of my side of the family, while your father told you about his side...

********************

2. Boy: Are you sure that u only love me?
Girl: Ya. I checked the whole list yesterday

********************

3. on a very romantic day lover asked his girl friend,'darling will you give me ring on ring ceremony?'
girl friend,'ya, sure give me your number i'll give you the ring twice if you say'

********************

4. In a restaurant, a man ordered soup but, as soon as it arrived, he had to go to the bathroom. To make sure that nobody touched his soup while he is away, he wrote on a napkin: "I SPIT IN THE SOUP".
When he returned, he found another message on napkin: "ME, TOO".

********************

5. Two policemen are in a patrol car:
- Could you check if the directionals work on your side of the car?
The other policeman looks through the window and says:
- Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no...

********************

6. Teacher: Pappu, go to the map and find North
America.
Pappu: Here it is
Teacher: Correct, Now class, who discovered
America?
Class: Pappu

********************
7. In a restaurant, a man ordered soup but, as soon as it arrived, he had to go to the bathroom. To make sure that nobody touched his soup while he is away, he wrote on a napkin: "I SPIT IN THE SOUP".
When he returned, he found another message on napkin: "ME, TOO".

********************

8. Do u want nokia N91 for just Rs.999 ($ 23.8 approx) & free sim with
1000 Rs. talktime..??
Then log onto-

http://www.pagal_aadmi_k_ajeeb_sapne.com

**********

9. Another Moon?... Possible
Another Sun?... Possible
Another Sky?... Possible
Another person Like U?... Impossible
'Coz God can't make the same Mistake twice

--
From ANKIT

http://ankitspage.co.nr

Love Marriage VS Arranged Marriage - The IT Perspective

Love Marriage: Resembles procedural programming language. We have some set functions like flirting, going to movies together, making long conversations on phone and then try to fit all functions to the candidate we like.

Arranged Marriage: Similar to object oriented programming approach. We first fix the candidate and then try to implement functions on her. The main object is fixed and various functions are added to supplement the main program. The functions can be added or deleted.

Love Marriage: It is a throwaway type of prototype as client requirements rises with time thus it is a dynamic system and difficult to maintain.

Arranged Marriage: Requirements are well defined so use of waterfall model is possible.

Love Marriage: Family system hangs because hardware called parents are not responding.
Arranged Marriage: Compatible with hardware Parents.

Love Marriage: You are the project leader so u are responsible for implementation and execution of PROJECT- married life.

Arranged Marriage: You are a team member under project leader parents so they are responsible for successful execution of project Married life.

Love Marriage: Client expectations include exciting feature as spouse cooking food, washing clothes etc.

Arranged Marriage: All these features are covered in the SRS as required features.

Love Marriage: Acceptance test possible you can try before you Buy.

Arranged Marriage: Product is sold on an as is where is basis. Product once sold will not be taken back!

Movies Related to College Life

Exam == Kalyug,

Classes == Kabhi Kabhi

Viva == Encounter

Examination Hall == Chamber of Secret

Examiner == Mrityudata

Course == GodZilla

Paper Correction == Andha Kanoon

Exam Time == Qayamat se Qayamat Tak

Question Paper == Paheli

Answer Paper == Kora Kagaz

Marks == Ashambhav

Paper Out == Plan

Cheating == Aksar

Last Exam == Independence Day

Result == Sadma

Pass == Ajooba / Chamatkar

Fail == Devdas

Vacations == Masti

Supplementary == Aakhri Rasta

KID

One day, the phone rang, and a little boy answered.
"May I speak to your parents?"
"They're busy."
"Oh. Is anybody else there?"
"The police."
"Can I speak to them?"
"They are busy."
"Oh. Is anybody else there?"
"The firemen."
"Can I speak to them?"
"They are busy."
"So let me get this straight-your parents, the police, and the firemen are there, but they're all busy?
What are they doing?"
"Looking for me!"

Enjoy to read it

A small story (comedy)

read more | digg story

13 THINGS COMMON TO ALL ENGG COLLEGES

1). The lecturers dont teach.The students don't study.The only guy who benefits is the one who owns the 'dhaba' next to the college.

2). Rules are made to be broken.

3). Promises are made to be broken.

4). Deadlines are made to be extended...ALWAYS!

5). Guys always think the chics in the college next lane are more beautiful.

6). The lab assistants are the most respected people(i.e. during the lab exams)

7). The watchmen are the people most bribed.

8). The HOD is the person most respected(heights of sycophancy here).

9). The principal is the person most abused and insulted(i.e. behind the back)

10). Dropping subjects is 'cool'.(arre yaar..drop the idea of dropping subjects plzz).

11). There is always a lecturer in the college who can't speak proper 'english'.

12). Night-out is the second most important tool to ace the exams.

13). All time u will be in debate with students of other branch as their branch is d BEST

Joke

Laloo Prasad sent his Bio Data 2 apply 4 a post in Microsoft,

A few days later he got this reply:=

Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad,

You do not meet our requirements. Please do not send any further correspondence. No phone call shall be entertained.Thanks Bill Gates.

Laloo jumped with joy on receiving this reply.

He arranged a press conference: "Bhaiyon aur Behno, aap ko jan k khushi ho gi k hum ko US mein naukri mil gayee hai." Everyone was delighted.

Laloo continued "Ab hum aap sab ko apna appointment Letter parh k sunaongaa? par letter angreeze main hai-isliyen sath-sath Hindi main translate bhi karoonga.

Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad-Pyare Laloo prasad bhaiyya

You do not meet--aap to miltay hee naheen ho

our requirement--humko to zaroorat hai

Please donot send any furthur correspondence--ab Letter vetter bhejne ka kaouno zaroorat nahee.

No phone call--phoonwa ka bhee zaroorat nahee hai

shall be entertained--bahut khaatir kee jayegi

Thanks--aapkaa bahut bahut dhanyavad.

Bill Gates--Tohar Bilva

Enjoy to read it......

A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room, So he decided to send an e-mail to his wife.

However, he accidentally Typed wrong e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail. Meanwhile.....somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife

Subject: I've Reached

Date: 16 May 2002

I know you're surprised to hear from me.They have computers here now, and you are allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones. I've just reached and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

Only Yours

Love

Buzzer Hut

Heights

What is height of Fashion????
Ans :- Dhoti with a Zip

What is height of Secrecy???
Ans :- Offering blank visiting cards

What is height of active Laziness???
Ans :- Asking 4 a lift to the house while on a morning walk

What is height of Craziness???
Ans :- Getting a blank paper xeroxed

What is height of Forgetfulness???
Ans :- seeing the mirror and trying to recollect when u saw him/her last

What is height of Stupidity???
Ans :- A man looking 4 a keyhole of a glass door

What is height of Honesty in Bihar ???
Ans :- A Pregnant woman buying one and half railway ticket

What is height of Suicide???
Ans :- A dwarf jumping from the footpath to the road

What is height of De-hydration???
Ans :- A cow giving milk powder

What is height of Kanjoosi(miserness)???
Ans :- Bania's shop has got fire and he is giving miss calls to d fire brigade

joke

Boss:Where were you born ?
sardar : Punjab.
Boss : which part ?
sardar : Kya which part ? Whole body born in punjab.

Sardar : What is the name of your car ?
Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with "T".
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaara gaadi petrol se start hoti hai.

Sardar was busy removing a wheel from his auto. A man asks sardar why are you removing a wheel from your auto.
sardar : Cant you read the board.Parking is only for 2 wheeler

Interviewer : When is your birthday.
Sardar : 13th Oct.
Interviewer : which year ?
sardar : Oye Ullu ke patte : Every year.

Imagine ur self in a Sprite Ad

Your Colleague : Hey!! Kya yahan baitha mail forward karta rahta
hai yaar !! Naye packages dekh.... Naye language seekh. Night out
...Fundoo programming kar like me....! Do something cool man !!

You : Achha! To usse Kya hoga ..

Your Colleague : Impression!!! Appraisal !!!
Har appraisal main tu No 1!
Hike in salary !! Extra Stocks

You : Phir kya hoga...

Your Colleague : Project Leader ban jaayega..Phir Project Manager
!!!Phir Business Manager ! One day U will be a
Director of the Company man !!

You : Acchha to phir kya hoga...

Your Colleague : Abe phir tu aish karega! Koi kaam nahin karna
padega ! Araam se office aayega aur MAIL check
karega.

You : To ab main kya kar raha hoon????

"Dikhawe pe na jao, apni akal lagao.
Programming hai waste, trust only copy-paste "

Powered by ctrl C
Driven by ctrl V

too funny..

Newton - The Father of Physics committed suicide.
Do you know why?
Here is the reason.

Once he came to India and He watched a few Tamil movies and had his head
spinning. He was convinced that all his logics and laws in physics were
just a huge pile of junk and apologized for everything he had done. In
the movie of Rajanikanth, Newton was confused to such an extent that he
went paranoid. Here are a few scenes:

1) Rajanikanth has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors
can't be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights,
our great Rajanikanth is shot in the head. To everybody's
surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the
tumor along with it and he is cured. Long Live Rajanikanth.

2) In one of the movies, Rajanikanth is confronted with 3
gangsters. Rajanikanth has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet.

Guess, what he does... He holds a knife in his hand and throws

at the middle gangster & shoots the bullet towards the knife. The

knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces and kills both the gangsters
on each side of the middle gangster & the knife kills the middle
one.

3) Rajanikanth is chased by a gangster. Rajanikanth has a revolver
but he has no bullets in it. Guess what he does. Nah not even in
your remotest imaginations.

He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster
shoots, Rajanikanth opens the bullet compartment of his revolver
and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and

fires his gun.
Bang

and the gangster dies..
This was too much for our Newton to take and he was completely
shaken and he decided to go back. But he happened to see a movie
for one last time and thought that at least one movie will follow his
theory of physics.
The whole movie goes fine and Newton is happy that all in the world
hasn't changed.

Oops not so fast.
The Climax finally arrives. Rajanikanth gets to know that the
villain is on the other side of a very high wall. So high that
Rajanikanth can't jump even if he tries like one of those superman

techniques that our heroes normally use. Rajanikanth has to
desperately kill the villain because it�s the climax.


(Newton dada is smiling since it is virtually impossible).
Rajanikanth suddenly pulls two guns from his pocket (Probably a backup).
He throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached the
height of the wall, he shoots at the trigger of the first gun in
air, with his second gun. Now the first gun fires off and the
villain is dead.

Newton commits Suicide.
Ragnikant ki jay ho !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!