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Love Marriage VS Arranged Marriage - The IT Perspective

Love Marriage: Resembles procedural programming language. We have some set functions like flirting, going to movies together, making long conversations on phone and then try to fit all functions to the candidate we like.

Arranged Marriage: Similar to object oriented programming approach. We first fix the candidate and then try to implement functions on her. The main object is fixed and various functions are added to supplement the main program. The functions can be added or deleted.

Love Marriage: It is a throwaway type of prototype as client requirements rises with time thus it is a dynamic system and difficult to maintain.

Arranged Marriage: Requirements are well defined so use of waterfall model is possible.

Love Marriage: Family system hangs because hardware called parents are not responding.
Arranged Marriage: Compatible with hardware Parents.

Love Marriage: You are the project leader so u are responsible for implementation and execution of PROJECT- married life.

Arranged Marriage: You are a team member under project leader parents so they are responsible for successful execution of project Married life.

Love Marriage: Client expectations include exciting feature as spouse cooking food, washing clothes etc.

Arranged Marriage: All these features are covered in the SRS as required features.

Love Marriage: Acceptance test possible you can try before you Buy.

Arranged Marriage: Product is sold on an as is where is basis. Product once sold will not be taken back!

Think Of This...

Does the reverse side also have a reverse side ?

If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is
expanding, what is it expanding into ?

Why is a carrot more orange than an orange ?

Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open,
it's not adoor ?

Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you.
Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it !

How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked
when
someone threw a gun at him ?

Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid
contains real lemons ?

Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase ?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle ?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard ?

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and
apes ?

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help
section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it
considered a hostage situation

Movies Related to College Life

Exam == Kalyug,

Classes == Kabhi Kabhi

Viva == Encounter

Examination Hall == Chamber of Secret

Examiner == Mrityudata

Course == GodZilla

Paper Correction == Andha Kanoon

Exam Time == Qayamat se Qayamat Tak

Question Paper == Paheli

Answer Paper == Kora Kagaz

Marks == Ashambhav

Paper Out == Plan

Cheating == Aksar

Last Exam == Independence Day

Result == Sadma

Pass == Ajooba / Chamatkar

Fail == Devdas

Vacations == Masti

Supplementary == Aakhri Rasta

KID

One day, the phone rang, and a little boy answered.
"May I speak to your parents?"
"They're busy."
"Oh. Is anybody else there?"
"The police."
"Can I speak to them?"
"They are busy."
"Oh. Is anybody else there?"
"The firemen."
"Can I speak to them?"
"They are busy."
"So let me get this straight-your parents, the police, and the firemen are there, but they're all busy?
What are they doing?"
"Looking for me!"

Enjoy to read it

A small story (comedy)

read more | digg story

13 THINGS COMMON TO ALL ENGG COLLEGES

1). The lecturers dont teach.The students don't study.The only guy who benefits is the one who owns the 'dhaba' next to the college.

2). Rules are made to be broken.

3). Promises are made to be broken.

4). Deadlines are made to be extended...ALWAYS!

5). Guys always think the chics in the college next lane are more beautiful.

6). The lab assistants are the most respected people(i.e. during the lab exams)

7). The watchmen are the people most bribed.

8). The HOD is the person most respected(heights of sycophancy here).

9). The principal is the person most abused and insulted(i.e. behind the back)

10). Dropping subjects is 'cool'.(arre yaar..drop the idea of dropping subjects plzz).

11). There is always a lecturer in the college who can't speak proper 'english'.

12). Night-out is the second most important tool to ace the exams.

13). All time u will be in debate with students of other branch as their branch is d BEST

Joke

Laloo Prasad sent his Bio Data 2 apply 4 a post in Microsoft,

A few days later he got this reply:=

Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad,

You do not meet our requirements. Please do not send any further correspondence. No phone call shall be entertained.Thanks Bill Gates.


Laloo jumped with joy on receiving this reply.


He arranged a press conference: "Bhaiyon aur Behno, aap ko jan k khushi ho gi k hum ko US mein naukri mil gayee hai." Everyone was delighted.

Laloo continued "Ab hum aap sab ko apna appointment Letter parh k sunaongaa? par letter angreeze main hai-isliyen sath-sath Hindi main translate bhi karoonga.


Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad-Pyare Laloo prasad bhaiyya

You do not meet--aap to miltay hee naheen ho

our requirement--humko to zaroorat hai

Please donot send any furthur correspondence--ab Letter vetter bhejne ka kaouno zaroorat nahee.

No phone call--phoonwa ka bhee zaroorat nahee hai

shall be entertained--bahut khaatir kee jayegi

Thanks--aapkaa bahut bahut dhanyavad.

Bill Gates--Tohar Bilva

Enjoy to read it......

A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room, So he decided to send an e-mail to his wife.

However, he accidentally Typed wrong e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail. Meanwhile.....somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife

Subject: I've Reached

Date: 16 May 2002

I know you're surprised to hear from me.They have computers here now, and you are allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones. I've just reached and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

Only Yours

Love

Buzzer Hut

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!!

Har HINDUSTANI ki juban par hai "HINDUSTAN" ka naara,
Dunia mein sabse khubsurat
HINDUSTAN hamara..
Dekhi saari dunia magar mujhe laga nahi kuch bhi gawaara,
Saare jahan mein jiske charche , wo hai
HINDUSTAN hamara..
Har ek shaks ne ise apne pyar se hain sawara,
Har insaan ke dil mein jo basta hai, wo hai
HINDUSTAN hamara..
Kahte hain hum sar uthakar,hai HINDUSTAN hamko pyara,
Har dil aana chahta hai jahan mein, wo hai
HINDUSTAN hamara..
Hindu, Muslim, Sikh, Isaai , har koi mile yahan pyar se,
Majhab nahi dekhta jo , wo hai
HINDUSTAN hamara..
I LOVE MY "INDIA"AND I PROUD TO BE AN INDIAN
...(_)Ek dost...
....HINDUSTANI
.../..\_▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒
\/\./.▒▒▒▒۞▒▒▒
.._w_.▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒

Why INDIA is in trouble?

Why INDIA is in trouble?
Population: 100 crore

9 crore retired
30 crore in state Govt
17 crore in central Govt (Both Categoy dont work)
1 crore IT professional (dont work for India )
25 crore in school
1 crore r under 5 years
15 crore unemployed
1.2 crore u can find anytime in hospitals
Statistics says u find 79,99,998 people anytime in jail
Rest two are U & I.

You are busy "BloggingOrkuting/ checking Mails/sending fwds/Talking in phone..."!!

HOW CAN I HANDLE INDIA alone? Hmmm? Tell me.......Become serious now!!

Heights

What is height of Fashion????
Ans :- Dhoti with a Zip

What is height of Secrecy???
Ans :- Offering blank visiting cards

What is height of active Laziness???
Ans :- Asking 4 a lift to the house while on a morning walk

What is height of Craziness???
Ans :- Getting a blank paper xeroxed

What is height of Forgetfulness???
Ans :- seeing the mirror and trying to recollect when u saw him/her last

What is height of Stupidity???
Ans :- A man looking 4 a keyhole of a glass door

What is height of Honesty in Bihar ???
Ans :- A Pregnant woman buying one and half railway ticket

What is height of Suicide???
Ans :- A dwarf jumping from the footpath to the road

What is height of De-hydration???
Ans :- A cow giving milk powder

What is height of Kanjoosi(miserness)???
Ans :- Bania's shop has got fire and he is giving miss calls to d fire brigade

joke

Boss:Where were you born ?
sardar : Punjab.
Boss : which part ?
sardar : Kya which part ? Whole body born in punjab.

Sardar : What is the name of your car ?
Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with "T".
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaara gaadi petrol se start hoti hai.

Sardar was busy removing a wheel from his auto. A man asks sardar why are you removing a wheel from your auto.
sardar : Cant you read the board.Parking is only for 2 wheeler

Interviewer : When is your birthday.
Sardar : 13th Oct.
Interviewer : which year ?
sardar : Oye Ullu ke patte : Every year.

Imagine ur self in a Sprite Ad

Your Colleague : Hey!! Kya yahan baitha mail forward karta rahta
hai yaar !! Naye packages dekh.... Naye language seekh. Night out
...Fundoo programming kar like me....! Do something cool man !!

You : Achha! To usse Kya hoga ..

Your Colleague : Impression!!! Appraisal !!!
Har appraisal main tu No 1!
Hike in salary !! Extra Stocks

You : Phir kya hoga...

Your Colleague : Project Leader ban jaayega..Phir Project Manager
!!!Phir Business Manager ! One day U will be a
Director of the Company man !!

You : Acchha to phir kya hoga...

Your Colleague : Abe phir tu aish karega! Koi kaam nahin karna
padega ! Araam se office aayega aur MAIL check
karega.

You : To ab main kya kar raha hoon????

"Dikhawe pe na jao, apni akal lagao.
Programming hai waste, trust only copy-paste "

Powered by ctrl C
Driven by ctrl V

ENGINEERING DAYS MEMORIES

Reminds us of those engineering days.... 4 years of non-stop of what follows... day after day...

Engineering Dialogues

1. On being Late
(standing at the door... gesturing to a friend) "Andar aaon kya? Kab chalu hua?"
"Attendance ho gaya kya??"
"I was searching for the Classroom"
"Bus/Train was late"
"bike/scooter kharab ho gaya tha."

2. During the lecture
"mera assignment tere paas hai??"
"Kya bore ho raha hai. Bola tha bunk karenge."
"Heads, we go home, Tails, we go home now!!!"
"Journal sheet hai??"

3. Lab
"Expt. 2 likha??"
"Idhar Karna kya hai??"

4. Unit Test
"Aaj kounsa test hai?"
"Oh !!! Itna syllabus cover ho gaya ?"

5. For attendance
(less attendance isliye attendance badane ke liye bahane)
"I forgot the I-card , so watchman didn ' t let me in"

6. Late submission of assignments
" Maine usko bola thaa ki copy karke mera assgnment bhi saath mein submit kar dena"
"Last date extend hua thaa"
"I didn ' t know the last date"

7. Late submission of Journal (for printouts)
"Format pataa nahi thaa"
"Printer is not working today"
"Friday ko light nahi thee"

8. VIVA (after exam)
"Yeh bhi syllabus mein thaa kya?"
"Achha !!! ye aise hota hai kya?"
"Ye subject ka reference book kounsa hai"

9. VIVA (b4 exam)
"Submission ab tak hua nahi hai , VIVA kya ghanta doonga"
"Dekh Boss!! external bhi aadmi hai. Usko pata hai students ka ab tak preparation nahi hua hai"

10. VIVA (General)
"Dekh , tu jo bhi padhega , woh (external) tereko woh nahi poochhnewaala, then watz the point"
"Roll no. 1 aur 2 ko wapas bulaaya hai"
"External is asking Bermuda Triangle ka Magnetic force kitna hai"
"Ye kounse subject mein aata hai"
"Aaj kounsa Viva hai?"

11. Submission
"Ye bhi chhapna hai kya?"
"Iska bhi print-out lena hai kya?"
"Tujhe Sir ka sign aata hai kya?"

12. A convo:
"Ye tune kya likha hai????"
"Jo word samajh mein aa raha hai woh likh, jo nahi samajh mein aa raha hai uska drawing nikal"
"Phir bhi, kuch to idea hoga??"
" Maine uska likha hai, mera assignment check ho gaya , tu bhi wohi kar. Jo word samajh mein araha hai woh likh , jo nahi samajh mein aa raha hai woh chhod de."

13. Exam
"Jo (mujhe)aata hai, woh (paper mein)aata nahi hai; jo nahi aata hai woh aata hai"
"ye question 2 saal se nahi poochha hai"
"ye last time hi poochha thaa"
"tere paas iske notes hai??"
"woh chapter... mark weightage 6 marks... (facial ex-pressions speaks the story)"
"nahi samjha to rat le"
(when someone is intensively doing his last revision) "Yeh nahi aayega !!!"

too funny..

Newton - The Father of Physics committed suicide.
Do you know why?
Here is the reason.

Once he came to India and He watched a few Tamil movies and had his head
spinning. He was convinced that all his logics and laws in physics were
just a huge pile of junk and apologized for everything he had done. In
the movie of Rajanikanth, Newton was confused to such an extent that he
went paranoid. Here are a few scenes:

1) Rajanikanth has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors
can't be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights,
our great Rajanikanth is shot in the head. To everybody's
surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the
tumor along with it and he is cured. Long Live Rajanikanth.

2) In one of the movies, Rajanikanth is confronted with 3
gangsters. Rajanikanth has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet.

Guess, what he does... He holds a knife in his hand and throws

at the middle gangster & shoots the bullet towards the knife. The

knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces and kills both the gangsters
on each side of the middle gangster & the knife kills the middle
one.

3) Rajanikanth is chased by a gangster. Rajanikanth has a revolver
but he has no bullets in it. Guess what he does. Nah not even in
your remotest imaginations.

He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster
shoots, Rajanikanth opens the bullet compartment of his revolver
and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and

fires his gun.
Bang

and the gangster dies..
This was too much for our Newton to take and he was completely
shaken and he decided to go back. But he happened to see a movie
for one last time and thought that at least one movie will follow his
theory of physics.
The whole movie goes fine and Newton is happy that all in the world
hasn't changed.

Oops not so fast.
The Climax finally arrives. Rajanikanth gets to know that the
villain is on the other side of a very high wall. So high that
Rajanikanth can't jump even if he tries like one of those superman

techniques that our heroes normally use. Rajanikanth has to
desperately kill the villain because it�s the climax.


(Newton dada is smiling since it is virtually impossible).
Rajanikanth suddenly pulls two guns from his pocket (Probably a backup).
He throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached the
height of the wall, he shoots at the trigger of the first gun in
air, with his second gun. Now the first gun fires off and the
villain is dead.

Newton commits Suicide.
Ragnikant ki jay ho !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!